No Win Scenario
by RAGGEDY G
Summary: After Kirk is injured on an away mission, Spock struggles to understand his seemingly impossible decision "not to feel."


As suddenly as it had all started, everything stopped.

Spock slumped back into the chair in a rare display of relief as the engineer repeated his message.

"The Captain's on board, sir. We've got him."

The first officer's ears turned a shade of green as he rose stiffly amid the relieved murmurs of the crew. Although he incessantly insisted that he did not experience emotion, it was obvious that the normally stoic Vulcan was experiencing one now. Anger.

"Mr. Sulu, you have the Con."

Once off the bridge, Spock allowed his pace to quicken as he headed for the transporter room. It was illogical to move any faster than a brisk walk, he knew, but it seemed that his legs had a mind of their own. It was infuriatingly illogical.

The sight that greeted him on the transporter pad was unnerving, yet not uncommon.

Bruised and blood-spattered, the Captain looked as though he'd collapsed into McCoy's arms the moment he'd materialized. Kirk looked up through swollen eyes as he noticed the Vulcan's appearance.

"Mr. Spock," he slurred, a crooked grin spreading across his dirt smeared face, "did you miss me?"

"Dammit, Jim!" Bones swore as he struggled to steady his injured commander, "stop flirting with Spock and try to stand up! We've got to get you to medical!"

The young captain continued to smile, as though his escape from certain death moments ago had been nothing more than a routine drill.

Spock hovered at his commander's side as the medical crew swiftly lifted him onto a stretcher.

"Captain, I find your attitude to be most illogical."

His voice was sharper than he'd intended it, and he clamped his mouth shut immediately. Kirk didn't seem to notice.

"Illogical?" He laughed, a tiny stream of blood slipping between his lips as he did so. "It's me you're talking to, Spock, get real."

"Yes Captain. You almost died four minutes ago, and you continually refuse to acknowledge the previous certainty of your imminent death!"

Crewmembers jumped out of the way as the medical team traversed the halls to the medbay.

"Hey, you could at least pretend to be glad I'm alive," Kirk quipped as he was lowered to a biobed, "even Bones is happy to see me, right Bones?"

The doctors response was a heated glare and a muttered curse word.

"Captain, I apologize for inadequately expressing proper satisfaction that you have not been killed." Spock offered sharply, "I only fail to understand how you can justify your attitude of nonchalance while faced with certain death."

Kirk blinked slowly, his gaze unfocused.

"Wait...are you mad?"

Spock's ears turned a shade darker.

"Captain, that is an illogical assumption as I do not experience emotion…"

The young captain grinned lopsidedly.

"You _are_ mad…"

Spock didn't bother to correct his commander's accusation - he wasn't entirely positive it was incorrect anyway.

"Sir, I only fail to comprehend your apparent lack of understanding of perilous situations."

Bones shoed that last crewmember from the medical bay with a brandished hypospray and equally alarming language.

"Go easy on him, you green-blooded freak," he muttered behind the Vulcan's back, "his insides aren't made of stone like yours…"

Normally, Spock would have taken the opportunity to antagonize the doctor with a critique regarding the medical impossibility of his statement, but the sight of his weak captain lying limply on the biobed forbade anything remotely similar to a joke.

"What do you mean, lack of understanding?" Kirk inquired, his blue eyes narrowing as his brows lowered.

"Your demeanor while under duress suggests that you do not fully understand your own mortality."

Kirk snorted.

"Please, Spock, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't believe in no-win scenarios?"

"I argue the contrary." The frustration was unmistakable in his voice. "It is psychologically impossible to believe that there are no circumstances that would possibly render an unsatisfactory outcome – as you call it, a loss."

The Vulcan clasped his hands behind his back and stared past his captain to the back wall of the med bay.

"Just like it's psychologically impossible to actually have no emotions."

Spock looked down sharply, signature eyebrow raised.

"Captain, I fail to see how my decision not to feel emotions is remotely relevant to-"

"-it has everything to do with it, Spock," Kirk told him as he scrutinized his first officer, a slight smile still playing at his mouth. "Look Spock, you choose not to feel – but you're still angry with me right now."

"Captain, I reject that accusation…"

Bones closed a slide of hyposprays loudly.

"He's right – we can all tell. Your ears are green…"

Before the Vulcan could protest, the captain continued.

"Just because you chose not to feel doesn't mean you _don't _feel. I choose not to believe in no-win scenarios, but that doesn't mean that I won't be killed some day."

The blue eyes were serious now.

Spock frowned.

"Captain, are you admitting that you do not believe in no-win scenarios?"

Kirk shook his head, leaving brown patterns of blood on the side of the pillow.

"No – I'm telling you that no matter what we both choose to believe, there are things that happen that we can't control; like experiencing emotions-"

"…and no-win scenarios."

Spock nodded slowly, his eyes dark.

Kirk smiled.

"See, Spock…I know things won't always turn out the way I want. Saying I don't believe in no-win scenarios is like telling you I'll never give up."

"As professing my desire to not experience emotions reflects my decision to avoid allowing my emotions to influence my actions."

"Alright, alright, point made," Bones interrupted, flipping a few switches on the panel beside the biobed, "is the lesson over?"

Taking the doctors prompt, Spock turned to go, but hesitated in the doorway.

"Captain, you did realize that the chance of your death was 100%?"

Kirk smiled.

"…and yet I'm 100% here…"

"98%," Bones correct sourly.


End file.
